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Anthony Newley
as Heironymous Merkin

Joan Collins
as Polyester Poontang

Bruce Forsyth
as Uncle Limelight

Milton Berle
as Goodtime Eddie Filth

Stubby Kaye
as Fat Writer

George Jessel
as The Presence

Connie Kreski
as Mercy Humppe
Alexander Newley
as Thaxted
Tara Newley
as Thumbelina

Patricia Hayes
as Grandma
Ronald Rubin
as Skinny Writer

Louis Negin
as Producer Peter

Tom Stern
as Producer Ron

Judy Cornwell
as Filigree Fondle

Margaret Nolan
as Little Assistance
Yolanda
as Trampolena Whambang

Lynda Baron
as Salesgirl

Ronald Radd
as Critic Bentley

Rosalind Knight
as Critic Bentley

Victor Spinetti
as Critic Sharpnose
Julian Orchard
as Red Cardinal

Desmond Walter-Ellis
as Philip Bluster
Bernard Stone
as Icicle Ike
Sally Douglas
as Automation Bunny
Roy Desmond
as The Mask
Joyce Blair
as Oat-O-Rinos Girl

Bruce Boa
as Car Salesman
Berry Cornish
as Fran
Mike Higgins
as The Prompter (uncredited)

Robert Hutton
as Insurance Agent
Laurie Leigh
as Toothpaste Mother

Aleta Morrison
as Harriet
Eve Pearce
as Floor Wax Housewife
Muriel Young
as Liz Harper