Gerard Horan

as Ned Watkins

Tim Plester

as Eddie the Slaughterman

Trevor Peacock

as Mr Martin

Brenda Cowling

as Mrs Martin

Darren Boyd

as PC 'Dusty' Springfield

Emma Pierson

as Jenny West

Chris Langham

as Jack

Alexei Sayle

as Newspaper Editor

John Sessions

as Rival Newspaper Editor

Dermot Murnaghan

as Himself

Rafe Spall

as Crustie

Kevin Whately

as Wolf

Natasha Day

as Sundance (voice)

James Dodd

as Butch (voice)

Brian Blessed

as Wild Boar (voice)

Frances Barber

as Miss Piggy (voice)

Daniel Hewson

as Wild Pig (voice)