Amanda Flowers

as Claudia Merryweather

Aurelio Voltaire

as Verum the LoveSick Butler

Schoolly D

as The President of the United States

Kansas Bowling

as Nancy the Demon Cheerleader

Jurgen Azazel Munster

as Dr. Orbert Wescraft

Lloyd Kaufman

as The Chief of Police

Mister Lobo

as Narrator / The Author

Savvy Jaye

as Dancer

Brenda Marie Dunn

as The Undead Bride

Elizabeth D'Ambrosio

as Maude East

John Patrick Brennan

as Bacon Cheeseburger

Alan Merrill

as Alan Merryweather

Sara Kaiser

as Yolpie Malone

Mickala McFarlane

as Mickala Lightning

Sofe Cote

as Margaret East

Max Husten

as The Information Man